I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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