Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
