It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
