Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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