Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
