Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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