yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
this boner is exhausting
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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