You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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