We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
