im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
