ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
