dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
