Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There r osticjed everywhere
There's always time for handjobs
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
