well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
