i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
