On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
