How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
