cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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