A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
