We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
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