Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
