sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
