: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Houston, we have a blender
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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