She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
