Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize