I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
