I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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