Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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