Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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