I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
