I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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