didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize