She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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