when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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