How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
