Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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