not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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