i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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