Its about making memories worth repressing
i love accidental penises.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
