I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
