Kiss
Puke
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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