Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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