Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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