are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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