I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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