We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
