you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
