I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
