I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
