I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize