I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
