Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
