Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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