Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
