You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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