I must be too annoying 4 u.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
