Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
