I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
