I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
