We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize