So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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