I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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