Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
