how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
